50 Ways To Become A More Humble, Respected Individual.

by Jeremy Michaels

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To be highly respected by those around us would have to be one of the greatest feats that a human being can reach in life. How you have earned your respect is the most important part of it all. Are you significant because you threaten to get respect by others or are you admired by all because you are humble and have earned your way to the hearts around you through your kindness, appreciation and self respect?

In this blog I listed 50 ways you can become a more humble, more respected individual. Live that gentleman/gentlewoman lifestyle.

1 – Listen more than you speak.
2 – Count to 3 before adding to a conversation to ensure the other person is done.
3 – Be willing to follow another person in conversation even if you don’t get to talk about your idea.
4 – Ask others to join conversations and contribute.
5 – Always offer to improve someone else’s idea and give them credit.
6 – Ask others for the opinion of others.
7 – When you’re wrong about something, admit it and keep it moving. It’s okay to be wrong sometimes.
8 – Admit when you don’t understand or know something.
9 – Be open minded and willing to learn more. Don’t act like you know it all.
10 – Work on yourself daily and become a better person everyday. There’s always room for self improvement.
11 – Appreciate others who become a better person everyday and who learn something quickly and say so.
12 – Be quick to apologize when you do something wrong. Fix it afterwards if it can be fixed.
13 – Study moral principles and use moral principles to guide you.
14 – Recognize your talents as gifts, not your own ability. Be humbled in your talents.
15 – Know how your skills have only be developed by the help of others.
16 – Share your own knowledge and wisdom to pass on what you have learned to create better people.
17 – Love others. That means care, share, help, give, and becoming a selfless individual.
18 – Motivate others. That means inspire, encourage, educated, influence, empower, help and supporting others.
19 – Show gratitude. Be appreciative and grateful of everything positive and negative.
20 – Value other people’s time as much as your own.
21 – Never equate time spent with people to a dollar value.
22 – Don’t boast about your achievements, let others recognize them instead. Be grateful for your successes without bragging about them.
23 – Keep your goals to yourself.
24 – Help other people with their goals
25 – Realize your potential and the potential in others.
26 – Use the response “I’d be honored” when someone asks you to help them or do something with them.
27 – Use the response “It’s My Pleasure” when someone thanks you for doing something.
28 – Recognize that you have faults and work on them.
29 – Ignore first impressions of people.
30 – Give others the benefit of the doubt.
31 – Remember you are a sinner too. In other words, you are no better or worse than anyone else.
32 – Provide positive and encouraging feedback instead of criticism.
33 – Make a choice to act more humbly in any situation.
34 – Know how to accept praise with a simple thank you, don’t elaborate on it or talk more about it.
35 – Recognize the individualism of others and yourself, there is no need to conform.
36 – Share your core values and live them accordingly regardless of the circumstances.
37 – Don’t talk about yourself a lot. Let people see how you are and figure you out on their own. Be mysterious.
38 – Be blunt but not rude. Speak what you feel and be straightforward without sugar coating what you think.
39 – Prioritize things in your life and be consistent in your actions.
40 – Forgive those who wrong you and move on without revenge or lashing back.
41 – Serve others and not yourself first.
42 – Seek wisdom and live by it, which is knowledge of what is truly coupled with a judgment of action.
43 – Talk proper english and present yourself the way you want to be addressed.
44 – Take care of your appearance: Dress accordingly, groom yourself, have good hygiene, etc.
45 – Let people be themselves. Accept them for who they are without judging, criticizing and gossiping about them.
46 – Avoid explosive reactions, and subside any aggression.
47 – Accept new ideas and change, not being stuck on what you knew before. Be open minded in your ways of lifestyle.
48 – Learn from and model the life of the most humble teachers in history. Examples are Jesus, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Buddha, MLK, etc.
49 – Keep your word.
50 – Be yourself and believe in yourself.

 

 

 

 

Toxic Apples.

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Do you ever wonder what is the point of having a “smoke section” in a restaurant? Isn’t that like having a peeing section in a pool? It doesn’t make sense because the smoke from the smoking section ruins the air in the non-smoking section. The same goes for the “clean” water in the pool. Isn’t it ironic how one small food stain can ruin an entire outfit? In the same manner, a toxic apple in your circle can ruin everyone in it.

You probably have toxic apples in your life. Those people that belittle every single thing you do or say. You know those people? You speak about an accomplishment, they have one ten times better. It’s almost like they took that old “anything you can do I can do better” song to heart. They feel the need to trump any and everything that you do. Toxic apples are the rain cloud on your parade. It doesn’t matter how happy you are or how good an opportunity or situation is, they find something wrong with it. You find the perfect partner for you, they start digging for flaws. You’ve been offered an amazing job, they tell you why you’re not qualified or why that job isn’t for you.

A tree is only as solid and fruitful as its roots. A bad tree can’t grow good fruit. You always reap what you sow, but that toxic apple in your circle is planting weeds instead of fruitful crops in your life. They plant seeds of doubt, uncertainty, paranoia and fear. Much like a vine that strangles the life out of trees, they attach pain to your happiness and uneasiness to your certainty.

Boa constrictors, large snakes, don’t kill their victims with venom like other snakes. They take a much more subtle but effective approach. Boa constrictors slowly wrap themselves around their victim until they have a good grip. Then slowly by slowly, every time the victim breathes in, the boa tightens its grip more and more until finally the victim suffocates and dies. Toxic apples do the same thing. Little by little they suffocate your goals, block your vision and kill your dreams. They’re a negative force to your life. They’re effective at stopping your progress because they spent their whole life stopping their own. They’re experts at killing progress and they don’t want you to succeed because they never did. They don’t want you to live your dreams because they’re a failure at theirs.

Have you ever been in snow or cold weather? You can actually adjust to the snow and the ice but what really makes you freeze is that cold wind. That wind that you don’t see does the most damage as it rips across your face, fingers, head and ears. Toxic apples offer that arctic wind level of hate. That cold hate, that dry hate, that hate that you don’t see but it does the most damage. You often don’t recognize it because they don’t come at you with the hate but rather reinforce doubt in your mind. They offer “helpful” opinions on why you can’t or shouldn’t do something. Their goal is to make you question yourself so you can ultimately kill you own dream just as they have done.

Toxic apples are vampires that suck the positive energy and life out of any situation. When you celebrate how far you have risen, they remind you how much further you have to go. They downplay your accomplishments and instead of blood, they seek to suck every bit of hope from your life until you’re as lifeless and bitter as they are. Toxic apples view everything as a competition, in the worst way. Every achievement of yours has to be out done. And every good news for you has to be outdone with a headline for them. Sooner or later you will quit sharing your dreams with toxic apples because subconsciously you know they hate it, however, if you allow them to hang around, their influence is still going to affect you.

That’s why you must beware of the company you keep. Toxic apples will always hold you back. Surround yourself with like-minded positive individuals who improve themselves daily and is striving for their success. Letting go of toxic people in your life is the biggest step in loving yourself and thinking of your future.

Check out my similar blog: “Discipline and Your Company” http://howyouliving.net/2013/08/25/discipline-and-your-company/

15 Things Happy People Do Differently.

by Jeremy Michaels

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Happiness is a choice. The following are 15 things happy people do differently than those who are unhappy and/or miserable:

1 – LOVE vs. FEAR & HATE. People who are really happy fear less and love more. They see each moment, each challenge, and each person as an opportunity to discover more about themselves and the world around them. Hate is non-existent.

2 – ACCEPTANCE vs. RESISTANCE. Happy people understand that you can’t really change a situation by resisting it, but you can change it by accepting that it’s there. More so, happy people strive for understanding that there might be a reason for its existence. When something unpleasant happens to happy people, they don’t try to fight it, knowing a fight will make the situation worse. Instead, they ask themselves questions like: What can I learn from this? and how can I make this better? They focus on the positive rather than the negative.

3 – FORGIVENESS vs. UNFORGIVENESS. Happy people know it’s not healthy to hold onto anger. They choose to forgive and move forward, understanding that forgiveness is a gift they give themselves.

4 – TRUST vs. DOUBT. Happy people trust themselves. No matter who they encounter, they strive to make the person they’re interacting with feel important. They understand that beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies, and because of that, they make sure to treat everybody with love, dignity, and respect.

5 – MEANING & PURPOSE vs. AMBITION. Happy people do the things they do because of the meaning it brings into their lives; it gives them purpose.  By doing so, they often reach both meaning and success, just because they focus on doing things they love. Money is not a sole motivator.

6 – PRAISING vs. CRITICIZING. Happy people reinforce positive behavior in themselves and other people, and because of that, they often get wanted results.

7 – CHALLENGES vs. PROBLEMS. Happy people see problems as challenges; as opportunities to explore new ways of doing things. They acknowledge even difficult challenges help them grow.

8 – SELFLESSNESS vs. SELFISHNESS. Happy people do things for the good of others. They look for ways to give and share, helping others become happy.

9 – ABUNDANCE vs. LACK/POVERTY. Happy people have an abundant mindset living a balanced life, achieving abundance in all areas of life.

10 – DREAMING BIG vs. BEING REALISTIC. Happy people don’t really care about being realistic. They dare to dream big, listening to their heart and inner intuition. They don’t fear taking risks.

11 – KINDNESS vs. CRUELTY. Happy people are kind to themselves and others. They understand the power of self-love, self-forgiveness, and self-acceptance.

12 – GRATITUDE vs. INGRATITUDE. No matter the circumstance, happy people have the capacity to see beauty, opportunity, abundance, and gratitude. They don’t see the ugly in things.

13 – PRESENCE/ENGAGEMENT vs. DISENGAGEMENT. Happy people know how to live in the present and appreciate what they have and where they are.  At the same time, they are still forward thinking, planning for a successful future.

14 – POSITIVITY vs. NEGATIVITY. No matter what happens, happy people strive to keep a positive perspective on things. They are adamant about surrounding their inner-self with peace and harmony.

15 – TAKING RESPONSIBILITY vs. BLAMING. Happy people take ownership over their lives and rarely use excuses. They understand that the moment you choose to blame an outside force, you are surrendering your power. Blame is a form of weakness.

Are you happy?

How To Change Other People?

by Jeremy Michaels

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If only we could get others to be more considerate, less annoying, more diligent, more respectful, or see our point of view…

How often have you wanted to change other people so they’d be better? Better spouses, kids, roommates, coworkers, employees? We want our kids to study harder and clean up after themselves, our spouses to be more considerate, our coworkers to be on time, our roommates to be neater, our relatives to be healthier, and so we try to change them.

How often has that worked?

People don’t want to be changed! And we can’t force them to change. This causes no end of frustration, for us and the person who we’re trying to change.

What We Can Change Instead:

1 – Our responses to their actions. If someone is being frustrating, we can instead find something to be grateful for about them. We can see their virtues instead of their faults. Love people with their flaws or leave them alone. We can change our expectations of them, and instead accept them for the beautiful person they are.

2 – Our intention for them. Instead of wanting them to change, we can offer guidance in the spirit of helping, but not expect them to accept that guidance. We can show them a way that might be helpful, but not demand they follow that way.

3 – Our example for them. If someone gets angry all the time (and you don’t like that), instead of getting angry back, be the example. How should they deal with frustrations if not through anger? Show them, and be calm and humble. Be loving and gentle and compassionate. Don’t be judgmental, as you may not know what he/she is going through.

4 – Ourselves. Try changing yourself, and see how easy that is. It’s actually pretty hard. Try changing your diet, or your responses to people. It’s doable, but far from easy. If it’s not easy for you to change, why should we expect everyone else to change, and get frustrated when they don’t? Why should everyone else but you change? Why not change to adapt to the reality of the world around you, instead of expecting the world to bend to your desires?

If we focus on these 4 things, instead of trying to change people, we will be much happier. And our relationship with others will be much better. Isn’t that worth the effort?

7 Money Tips To Improve Your Finances.

by Jeremy Michaels

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Improving your finances improves your happiness, in general, so I thought it would be important to share some tips that worked for me and works for many others. I’m currently in the best financial shape in my life due to these tips. Although the following tips won’t work for everybody, any money tip perspective is worth a read.

Here are my 7 Money Tips To Improve Your Finances:

1 – Spend less than you earn. This is almost the only tip you need, but it’s so important I’m going to break it down further. The biggest reason people get into financial problems is they spend money they don’t really have. Then they end up in a financial hole and it’s really hard to get out of that hole. Then they will have to work crazy hours or even work 2 jobs to keep up with their spending and pay off their debt. And as time passes, they end up with a life that’s about trying to pay for all the debt spending on crap they don’t really need. The bottom line is spend less than you earn. Spend less, work less, worry less and live happier.

2 – Don’t get into debt. If you spend less than you earn, obviously you won’t be in debt. It’s too easy to apply for a credit card and max out it’s credit limit. The whole point of the credit card business is to put you into debt so they can make money off of you with interest rates and fees. I suggest having only 1-2 credit cards for your convenience and to build credit. Make sure you pay off the entire balance right away when you use it and never get near or max out your credit limit. Student loans are another tool for getting over your head in debt. They’re not the worst debt if you’re paying for classes for a degree that’s going to earn you a lot of money in the future, but statistically, especially in this poor economy, most college graduates aren’t going to get an $80K per year job and shouldn’t take out $80K in student loans.

3 – Make a very simple budget. You should budget yourself before every paycheck with no exceptions. List your income, then list your bills (and savings). If the bills add up to more than the income, eliminate some unnecessary bills for next month. Use a simple spreadsheet to do the adding for you. This helps you to know what’s coming in and going out.

4 – Pay bills right away. If you have the money available, pay your bills as soon as possible. The best way to pay any bill is online, but if not, it’s just a matter of writing a check or money order, putting it in an envelope, and writing out an address. Whatever way you choose, do so immediately, so you don’t have to worry about it later. If you let the bill paying get pushed back, it becomes a dreaded thing, and your bills start to become overdue – debt.

5 – Savings is your first bill to pay. If you spend less than you earn, save the rest. If you don’t already have one, open up a savings account. Take a small portion of your check and make it an automatic payment that happens every payday, and make it the first and most important bill you pay. Discipline yourself to make it not optional. You’ll be happy as the savings grows, and it will all pay off in time when you need the money for a vacation, car, house, or when emergencies come up. I personally take $200 out from my check every payday and transfer it into my savings, but you choose how much you want to take out for your savings because everybody has a different income, different bills and a different budget.

6 – Use cash. Instead of charging things to credit cards or debit cards, use cash for non-bill spending such as eating out, gas and groceries. Spending cash makes the spending more real, and there’s an added advantage of knowing when you’re out of cash, instead of spending more than you think you have on a card. Bottom line is using cash helps you become a lot wiser with your money.

7 – Find happiness in life, not spending. Many times we buy stuff because we think (subconsciously) that it will bring us happiness. We just have to have the latest gadget or shoes or car. It’s so fun! And yet, we buy that stuff, and we’re only happy for a month or 2 at most. Then you just need to buy more. It’s a never-ending cycle. Instead, we should learn to grow. Live and love life. Find joy in nature and in the people around you. Find happiness in doing something you love, in exercise and meditation, music, literature, knowledge, art, photography, poetry, in your talents and gifts. And more! There’s so much in life to make us happy, there’s no need to find it in spending. Balancing your wants and needs is very important when it comes to your finances.

Dear You.

by Jeremy Michaels

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Dear You,

I feel like I can’t even say your name right now, because I’m so hurt by what you’ve become. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore. After all these years together, I thought you would have matured in the way you treat me and be more considerate of our relationship.

You cheated on me, I forgave you. You cheated again, and I’m still here for you. You tell me you’ve changed but I wonder if I can trust you. How do I know that you’ll really quit pursuing them instead of spending time with me. I feel as if all you do now is blame others when you mess up to and never take the blame yourself. What’s gotten into you? You constantly treat me badly and talk down to me, yet you expect me to be ok with us?

You say one thing, yet you do another. Half the time when we talk, I don’t even think you truly know what you want. Do you even care about me anymore? Sometimes I can’t even bear to look at you at the thought of some of your actions. Most of the time your selfish, your inconsiderate, you only care about you, and the way you treat me and others sometimes is down right terrible.

I often question why I’m even still with you. Why do I even care? I love you so I always want what’s best for you, yet I feel like sometimes you don’t want what’s best for yourself. I say that because so many times your actions don’t match your words.

I wish you would stop trying to be a people pleaser and start focusing on yourself. I guess I really just wish you’d pay more attention to me instead of everyone else. Is that too much to ask? We could be so great together if you would grow up and take responsibility for actions and your faults

What about all our great plans we had together? What about our hopes and dreams and the life we wanted to build together? Are you giving up on that? Are you giving up on us? How many times are you gonna tell me that its complicated and I wouldn’t understand. You distance yourself from me so much that I don’t even know why I try to get through to you, you obviously don’t listen.

I’m here for you, I really do love you and I want what’s best for you. I really want to work this out, I don’t want this to end.

That’s why I’m standing in the mirror telling you this.

God Bless,

Yourself

Be Grateful.

by Jeremy Michaels

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QUESTION: Why was I allowed to wake up today when other people died?

Being ungrateful is normal for those that overlook their daily blessings. Don’t let “losing it” make you appreciate it afterwards. Understand that there’s millions of people praying and wishing to be in your shoes, so stay thankful for the shoes you walk in. Remember to count your blessings first and then you’ll find no room for complaints. Always appreciate your life, your possessions and your love ones. Enjoy the lifetime that you have and grow from the experiences you are blessed with. Today, remind yourself to appreciate something or someone. Tell someone you appreciate them. It really doesn’t take much time to be grateful, it just takes effort.

Any day above ground is a good day since our lives are limited. Always remember, things could always be worse than what it is. Your worst day is a homeless man’s best day. Just remember somebody always has it worst than you. Your complaints are another person’s dreams. Be grateful for what you have and pray for those that need it more than you. Over 100,000 people didn’t wake up to see today and you weren’t one of them. Over 2 million people are unemployed and you have the privilege to “clock-in”. Millions more can’t get access to our overlooked blessings such as water, food, clothing, shelter and/or safety. Before you complain, give thanks first. I’m sure you’ll discover you’re too blessed to be stressed.

Empty-Handed & Full-Hearted.

by Jeremy Michaels

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We often load ourselves up when we travel, because we want to be prepared for various situations. This burden of being prepared leaves us with our arms full, unable to receive whatever is there when we arrive.

It leaves us tired from carrying, so that we are not happy when we meet someone new on our travels.

What if we traveled with empty hands, ready to embrace new experiences, receive new foods, meet and touch new people?

We might feel less prepared when we leave, but the preparedness is an illusion. Stuff doesn’t make us prepared. Having empty hands but a heart that is full of love leaves us prepared for anything.

This doesn’t just apply to taking a trip, but to living each day. Each day is a journey, and we load ourselves up with material possessions, with tasks and projects, with things to read and write, with meetings and calls and texts. Our hands are full, not ready for anything new.

Starting today… drop everything and be open to everything and everyone.

Enter each day empty-handed, and full-hearted.

It’s all about the journey.

You Control You.

by Jeremy Michaels

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Some people are not happy for one simple reason; they hand over their joy into the hands of everything around them. They complain about everything and are never satisfied swimming in self pity and drowning in misery. I hear and see countless people stagnant in life all because they got offended by something or someone. Freedom is to understand that no one can offend you without your consent. You must be strong enough in your identity to rise above what other people do or say to you. Understand that everyone has a right to act as they please. Just because something doesn’t match your preference, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. The world does not spin for your preference, so use the offense as a spotlight to better identify the weakness within yourself and aim to grow in that area. A fool is the person who is offended where no offense is intended and a greater fool is the person who is offended where offense is intended.

Stop putting your joy into other people’s hands and take responsibility. The best ability is responsibility as once you own it you can control it.

YOU CONTROL YOU!

Becoming.

by Jeremy Michaels

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Don’t let others make you insecure of your change. As your life grows so will the jealousy in others. The more good you do, the more bad they’ll try to expose. The brighter your future becomes, the more they’ll try to bring up your dark past. IGNORE IT. Your job is to keep shining and keep growing. Keep being you and keep living. No matter who they say you were, just remember who you’re becoming. Rise above the hate, criticism and judgements. Not everybody is going to believe. Some people will call you crazy. Some people will call you weird. Some people will cut you off. Some people will laugh. But keep going! Don’t let doubt deter you. Don’t let hate hamper you. Don’t let fear phase you. Pursue what’s in your heart and do what you enjoy doing and live in the favor of you. Be committed to doing what’s best for you and your life and most importantly be yourself.

Get out of your shell and your brainwashed way of living based on society’s standards. Do what you interests you and be the “weird you” while surrounding yourself with similar and like-minded individuals. It will never matter who likes your changes, just make sure you never let anybody think respecting it is optional. Ordinary people make complaints. Extraordinary people make changes. People don’t want to see who you’re becoming, they only pay attention to who you’ve been. You may not be able to stop people from doubting you but never allow their doubts to define you. You have to know who you are regardless of what anybody else tries to make you out to be. It’s the realization that everyone grows at different paces and loving yourself and loving them through the progression can be beneficial to growth. Spend your life doing strange things with weird people. And be who you are becoming.