Believe In Yourself & Trust What’s In Your Heart.

by Jeremy Michaels

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Sometimes you just have to trust what you know and feel. You may feel crazy, other people may not understand, but you have to trust it. You’ll get advice, you’ll hear opinions, you’ll listen to people’s thoughts, but at the end of the day you have to trust what’s in your heart. Nobody knows what’s best for you like you do. Surround yourself with people who care more about you being happy than they do about you getting hurt and going through pain. Surround yourself with people who believe you’re strong enough to handle making a couple mistakes. Surround yourself with people who know the value of experience, and have enough faith to tell you that, “this too shall pass”. A lot of people never experience real love because they’re surrounded by weak friends. They quit when people say quit because they’re more worried about how they’re being judged than being happy. That’s why you do what you love and love what you do! When you know when something is worth it, you can’t quit because you’re mad, frustrated, or disappointed, you have to persevere. Life isn’t about holding grudges, fostering anger, assuming and remembering regrets. Life is about progress, growing, and getting better. A lot of people miss out on things that are truly in their hearts because they go with what others think is right for them and ignore what they believe is best for them. See, you gotta always do what’s best for you. Sure your friends care, sure your family cares, but do what’s best for you and what’s in the interests of your heart. Your choices are yours, make them for yourself; if you’re going to have regrets, make sure they’re not anybody else’s decisions for you. Life may be simple, but it’s not easy. You’re going to have some rough battles but fight for what you know is right in your heart. You can’t just give up because people told you they would give up if they were you. Everybody isn’t built to withstand what you can withstand. Take advice for what it is, but trust what’s in your heart and strive for growth. Today, start being yourself and believing yourself.

Respect & Relationships.

by Jeremy Michaels

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Honesty has a lot more to do with respect than it does with love. You don’t need feelings to tell the truth, you don’t need emotion to be loyal, and you shouldn’t need an incentive to be genuine. The highest respect for love is humility. It’s realizing you’re wrong, being big enough to apologize, and strong enough to fix things. When people start losing respect for the ones they claim to care about it’s a sign that something drastic needs to change. Before love, before trust, before commitment, you need a foundation of respect and that comes through a genuine friendship. Respect is everything.

When you lie to somebody, not only do you deny them the truth, you deny yourself something real. Until the truth is presented, everything that comes after a lie is fake. Respect yourself, respect your partner, and honor the truth enough to always keep it real. Most situations breakdown when lies in the name of love begin to replace friendship built off of honesty and respect. If you take a short cut to building your relationship, you can’t complain about things falling down because you didn’t take the time to lay a stable foundation. Real love won’t start out of lust, you can’t ask your feelings to jump through hoops just because your body couldn’t handle temptation. The way a person treats you is a direct reflection of how they see you. If they treasure you, you’ll be adored. If they take you for granted, you’ll be ignored. That’s just the way things work when taking the easy way out comes in front of putting forth effort. Fall with the truth rather than flying with a lie. If you’re at the bottom, the only way to go is up, but if you’re flying with a lie, crashing is inevitable. Respect, compromise, and communication are the little things that help keep love. If the ones you love don’t give you respect, love yourself enough to be remembered as the one who left. Regardless of like, love, infatuation, whatever it may be, respect is required. Don’t ever willingly stay somewhere your presence isn’t appreciated. Self-respect permeates itself in every area of your life. When you don’t play with that, people won’t play with you.

Respect is earned, honesty is appreciated, trust is gained and loyalty is returned. Love is all of the above.

Let Your Feelings Be Known.

by Jeremy Michaels

Focus on Communication

The assumption that somebody just “knows” how you feel is one of the worst assumptions to make. Don’t assume that because you know how you feel, everybody else is aware of those feelings. You have to communicate and put things out there. If you’re expecting somebody to read your mind, you’re asking to be disappointed. A lot of people complain about getting hurt, but very few acknowledge the fact that they never show or make it clear that they care.

You can’t complain about the pain when you fail to communicate with the person. People get so scared that the person they care about will run off if they find out how they really feel, but that’s a risk you have to be willing to take. If they’re going to run off, they will run off regardless. So don’t be so full of “ifs” that you feel the need to chase them looking for closure. The worst feeling is knowing you waited too long to get it together and finding out the person you want has already gotten with somebody else.

You may get nervous, you may be scared, and you may be uncertain, but you can’t let any of that stop you. The worst thing you can do with a chance is not take it. At times it can seem like the only place to keep your feelings safe is deep down inside, but when you do that, you just bury them alive. Don’t do that to yourself! The words won’t always come out perfect, but when they’re genuine, they don’t have to be. If you have feelings you feel you need to hide, they’re probably feelings you don’t need to have. There are no emotions easy to deal with but when you refuse to deal with them, instead of getting hurt by somebody else, you end up hurting yourself. Be smarter than that!

Examine Your Relationship Experiences.

by Jeremy Michaels

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The strongest and smartest thing you can do to protect your heart is know what you want for it. Everybody wants “happiness and love” but you have to decide what happiness is for you and be able to define it in detail. Understand what suits you best. There’s more to finding love than having things in common and being physically attracted. Most people have the same relationship over and over again with different people and don’t even realize it. That’s why you must learn from the situations and experiences that didn’t work out so a future relationship can work. Not everything has to be difficult. When it comes to relationships, every situation has 3 common stages: the rise, the reality, and the realization. The rise is the initial infatuation. The reality is when you know whether you’ll have a relationship or not. The realization is when you know if it’s real and true or when you know that it’s time to move on. The weakest people are those that get bored quickly. They’re weak because they don’t know how to maintain, they only know how to replace. What most people call moving on is actually code for running away. They don’t put work in because they’re scared to be left out. After all, love is a choice and what you unconditionally work for. Asking for love is a general request, and it’s because of that general request that people rarely get the love they’re looking for. Start understanding what qualities in people suits you best. If you’re one who’s extreme, get somebody that balances you out. Most people fail to realize that the type of love you experience is determined by the type of relationships you have. There will be arguing, miscommunication and uncertainty. There will be ups and downs and a dysfunctional kind of love. But after that there must be compromise and reflecting. Start examining yourself and the themes of your past. When you start noticing the patterns, you’ll start fixing the problems. When you learn a new way, change the old ways. If you don’t, you’ll ruin your potential relationships before they even start.

Being Stood Up.

by Jeremy Michaels

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So you met this guy/girl and the two of you really hit it off well and he/she agreed to meet you on Saturday night. However, when Saturday night comes, you’re left standing at the bar for a while desperately hoping that they’ll show up. The bartender has refilled your glass several times over and other patrons have been looking at you with sympathy. As much as you don’t want to admit it–the truth is you are being stood up.

Being stood up can be devastating, especially after all of the time it takes to get ready and the time spent anticipating the first date; however, in a situation like this, try to understand what happened and give your date the benefit of the doubt before assuming and jumping too conclusions.

Check the time and place of the date to make sure you didn’t make a mistake. Maybe your date forgot about your plans. Maybe they may have made an honest mistake, or he/she may have had an emergency. After about 30 minutes, give him/her a text or a call if you have to. If he/she had an emergency or work issues, think about rescheduling the date if he/she contacts you before the end of the night, is apologetic and has a good excuse.

If your date doesn’t respond to your initial text message or phone call, forget about him/her. There is no sense stalking the person or being too needy and seeming desperate just to find out why you were stood up. Act with dignity and keep your self-respect intact. If you find that your date indeed stood you up on purpose, there is no point in sitting around in your nice clothes for nothing. Remember to have a good time and make the most of the situation by spending some fun time with another person or even by yourself.

When meeting new men or new women, take being stood up as a sign that things wouldn’t have worked out anyway. A woman with a high interest level wouldn’t forget a date with a man she’s truly interested in. A man with a high interest level wouldn’t forget a date with a woman he’s truly interested in either. A woman who truly possesses class and consideration would have either kept her commitment to meet with you, or at least let you know she wasn’t interested upfront. And vice versa with a man of worth. A person never gets a second chance to make a first impression, especially after standing you up on the very first date.

7 Reasons Women Fall For The Wrong Man.

by Jeremy Michaels

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I strongly believe hat 90% of pain and heartbreak is self-inflicted from our own selfish choices, desires, and human weaknesses. Our selfish desires or an empty place causes us to be in the arms of people we shouldn’t be with. We all have the story of wanting someone to be everything we want them to be, instead of just allowing them to be who they are and making a choice to love them unconditionally or step aside so someone else can.

For women particularly, falling for the wrong man over and over again can be draining so women must ask themselves, “Have you been honest with yourself about the condition of your life and heart?” When we are hurting or healing from another relationship, we should never attempt to be in a relationship or allow our emotions to get involved with anyone. We have to understand choosing the wrong person is on us and not on the other person. Refrain from playing victim or pointing blame, but you should always judge yourself and make the corrections to usher in a healthy and happy ending for your love. We all deserve love and happiness. Love like you have never been hurt and love with everything God has placed on the inside of you.

Here a 7 Reasons Why Women For The Wrong Man:

1 – You have sex with a man and become closer to him than you really think you are. Sex causes soul ties and makes you emotional, thus you feel closer to a man than you really are. I don’t have to tell you how to avoid this mistake because you already know. Good or great sex will always cause a woman to be with a man longer than she should be. Be mindful of who you let between your legs. If it’s lust, let it be just lust. Don’t settle for lust. If it’s something more, be sure it’s worth it and question if he’s the right man for your life.

2 – You’re aging and worried about being married, having kids before a certain age, or believing the lie there is something wrong with you being single. Of course there’s nothing wrong with you being single and, if you’re truly walking in faith, you shouldn’t be worried about those things. When you do worry, you will settle for the wrong man or make the wrong choices in a man because your goal is marriage and kids versus love, commitment and happiness. This can be so psychologically and emotionally draining so make sure you don’t allow this to happen.

3 – Ladies, you know how people always say, “Actions speak louder than words?” Well, this very saying is getting a lot of you in big trouble. Yes, actions do speak louder than words, but please understand actions also lie and in some cases lie more than words. Actions only speak louder when the heart and motives of the person pursing you is pure. If that is not the case, then what you have is manipulation and womanizing. Many men already know they can fool you with actions and words, so stop believing actions mean anything unless it’s done consistently over a long period of time. His intentions should be positive.

4 – Women are moved by beautiful things like shoes, curtains, homes, candles and a handsome man. There is more to a man than his physical looks. If you fall easy for nice looking men, find out why and make the correction. Shallowness will lead you to shallow men. And shallow people get shallow love. Your “type” will keep you single or in failing relationships. Also, materialism will be the death of your happiness overtime because materialistic things are about balancing wants and needs, as most materialistic things you absolutely don’t need. Don’t think he loves you just because he buys you new shoes every week or the bag you want or takes you shopping constantly. Love will never be about getting, it’s more about giving. Giving time, attention, effort, love and loyalty.

5 – You allow your self-esteem or insecurities to allow you to settle for anyone who gives you a lot of attention. A man shouldn’t have to make you feel secure in yourself or about yourself. You should feel this way because you are a child of God. I know we all have insecurities we need to grow and work on, but don’t allow them to cause you to have bad relationships, push good people away, or cause you to fall for the wrong man. You must love yourself before you love anyone else. Self love is the best love.

6 – Thinking you can change a man is a very common mistake and it will always cause women to stay with men who have no desire to change. Keep in mind there are men who do want to change and become better men. Those who have no desire for anything more than they are already doing are not worthy of your time and attention. You should always go for a man who improves himself daily and has goals and dreams. Those who can make you better and vice versa. Be mindful that you can’t change a man, unless he’s in diapers. A man will only change and become a better him if that’s what he naturally wants. It rings true that a good woman can make a man better or improve, but change will always be a self decision.

7 – You are afraid of being alone so you are with men for companionship, sex, ease the pain, for dates, for attention, for a season, etc. Of course, when you do this, you can’t expect anything good to come from it. Thus, when something bad is the outcome, you will result to playing victim and adding to the hurt or bitterness you already carry in your heart. I don’t have to explain in detail why you will always fall for the wrong man when you desperately look for one or get with one for your own selfish conveniences.

Of course this is not a comprehensive list, but I pray one or two things have caused you to judge yourself and start today with attempting to become a better woman of worth. YOU DESERVE BETTER! Choose a gentleman of worth. Read my blog “10 Women Tips On The Kind of Man To Look For”.

Summer Benefits and Summer Problems. (Remedies Inside)

by Jeremy Michaels

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Summer is here and summer has it’s benefits. Summer provides the opportunity for vitamin D and sunbathing and tanning for many who have been confined to the indoors for months. It’s also a time for more outdoor activities to stay active, stay lean and lose weight. Summer is also the season in which most if not all fruits and vegetables are fully in season. Other things like swimming, sweating and even vacationing are good for our health.

Just like any other season, summer has it’s problems too. Sunburns, mosquito bites and staying hydrated are some of the few. Below are some natural summer remedies for these problems.

1 – SUN BURN.

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Those 3 simple ingredients are:

  • Aloe Vera plant.
  • Coconut oil.
  • Raw Manuka honey

Directions: Rub aloe vera all over the burned area and let it dry (30-90 sec), next take coconut oil and rub over burned area (over where the aloe was put). Next take the raw Manuka honey and rub into any areas that look more red or blistered. Then put an old tee shirt on and go to bed. Most if not all will be absorbed by morning. In the morning, take a warm wash cloth and wipe off any sticky spots. For maintenance continue the process the next night. Do this process until the burn is completely gone.

Other remedies for sun burn are…apple cider vinegar, taking a bath with oatmeal and baking soda, grapeseed oil, tamanu oil, kukui nut oil, topical vitamin E, over moisturizing the area, eating foods that are antiseptic and anti-inflammatory, and simply hydrating with water.

2 – MOSQUITO BITES.

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3 – STAYING HYDRATED.

Besides water, there are healthy hydrating foods that you can eat and enjoy that contain over 90% of water.

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10 Ways To Deal With Negative People.

by Jeremy Michaels

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Have you ever noticed when someone speaks negatively about another person who isn’t present, people in the room become uncomfortable and the energy changes?

It can be very awkward to sit quietly and listen to someone take the room down by bashing another person who isn’t around to defend themselves. On top of that, having negatively focused conversations are unhealthy for us on a biological level as well. Neuroscientists have proven that when we show love to another person, our brain interprets that love is meant for us. When we yell or curse at someone or talk negatively about another person, our brain interprets that behavior is being directed at us as well.

So what does that mean for us on a biological level? Whatever energy we put out in the world (positive or negative), it literally comes right back to us. Increased cortisol (stress) is triggered in the body, which weakens the immune system and makes us feel a little less than awesome. When we hurt other people, we are hurting ourselves too.

Positive behaviors like laughing, smiling, speaking kind words and showing affection bring life and energy into a room. In contrast, operating from our lowest selves by speaking negatively about other people drains our energy, and that of everyone else who’s exposed to our negative behavior.

Those who choose to create stories or speak harshly of other people do not need your support in their negative agenda. By participating, or listening to judgements of others you are enabling that behavior to continue and volunteering in negativity. The following is a list of 10 ways to deal with those negative individuals…

10 Ways To Deal With Negative People:

1 – Don’t Engage In Their Negativity. One thing I found is negative people tend to stress the bad things and ignore the good stuff. They also have a tendency to exaggerate issues they are facing, making their predicament seem a lot worse than it actually is. The first time you converse with a negative individual, provide a listening ear and offer help if needed. Provide support – let him/her know he/she is not alone. However, be sure to draw a line somewhere. If the person keeps harping on the same problems even after the first few conversations, then it’s a sign to disengage. For starters, try to switch topics. If he/she goes into a negative swirl, let him/her continue, but don’t engage in the negativity. Give a simple reply, such as “I see” or “Okay”. Whereas if he/she is being positive, reply in affirmation and enthusiasm. When you do it often enough, he/she will soon realize what’s going on, and will start to be more positive in his/her communication.

2 – Hang Out In Groups. Speaking to a negative person can be extremely draining. When I spoke to my negative co-worker, I would be mentally drained for several hours, even though we talked for only 20 minutes. That was because I was on the receiving end of all her negativity. To address this, have someone else around when conversing with the negative individual. In fact, the more people, the better. This way, the negative energy is divided between you and the other members, and you don’t have to bear the full brunt of the negative energy. The plus point of having someone else around is that people bring out a different side to an individual. By having another party around, it may bring out a more positive side in the negative person. I experienced this before and it helped me to see the “negative” individual in a different, more positive light.

3 – Interpret Their Flow of Judgement and Help Them. Negative people can be quite critical at times. They tend to drop insensitive comments that are hurtful, especially if they are directed at you. For example, I once had a friend who was quite disrespectful. She would drop comments which were dismissive and critical. Initially I was bothered by her words, wondering why she had to be so critical every time she spoke. But, when I observed her interactions with our common friends, I realized she did this to them too. Her comments were not personal attacks, it was just her being the way she was. See, that’s why it’s important to recognize that the negative person usually means no harm. He/she is just caught up in his/her negativity. Start by learning how to deal with critical comments and negative situations. Objectify the comments made rather than take his/her words personally, recognize that he/she is just offering a point of view. Sort out the underlying message and see if there is anyway you can help the person from what he/she said.

4 – Bring Focus To Something Positive and Uplifting. Some negative people are triggered by certain topics. For example, people turn into a self-victimizers whenever they talk about work. No matter what what you say, they’ll keep complaining about everything of their job, which becomes quite a conversation damper. If the person is deeply entrenched in his/her negativity, the unhappiness may be too deeply rooted to address in a one-off conversation. Bring in a new topic to lighten the mood. Simple things like new movies, daily occurrences, common friends, hobbies, happy news or something exciting. Keep it to areas the person feels positive towards.

5 – Be Mindful of The Time You Spend With Them. Who you spend your time with has an impact on the person you eventually become. If you surround yourself with negative people and negativity, you will become a negative person and negative. Think about the times you hang out with negative people – Do you feel more positive or negative after that? Same for positive people – How do you feel after spending some time with them? Clearly, there’s a spill over effect that takes place after the interactions. By spending more time with negative people, your thoughts and emotions will slowly become negative too. At first it might be temporary, but over time it’ll slowly become ingrained in you. If you feel certain people in your life are negative, then be conscious of how much time you’re spending with them. I recommend to limit the duration where you can help it. For example, if they want to hang out with you but you don’t enjoy their company, learn to say no! If it’s a meeting or phone call, set a limit to how long you want it to be. Keep to the objective of the discussion, and don’t let it extend beyond that time.

6 – Identify Areas You Can Make Positive Change. Negative people are negative because they lack love, positivity and warmth. A lot of times, their negative behavior is a barrier they erect to protect themselves from the world. One of the best ways you can help a negative individual is to show love and positivity into his/her life. Think about what’s bothering the person at the moment, and think about how you can help him/her in your own way. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, and you definitely don’t have to go out of the way to help if you don’t want to. The key here is to be sincere in your desire to help, and to show him/her the upsides in life. There’s always something you can do for others so keep a look out and help where you can. Just a small act on your part may well make a huge difference in their lives.

7 – Temper Your Emotional Response. Negative people often gravitate toward others who react strongly–people who easily offer compassion or get outraged or offended. I suspect this gives them a little light in the darkness of their inner world–a sense that they’re not floating alone in their own anger or sadness. People remember and learn from what you do more than what you say. If you feed into the situation with emotions, you’ll teach them they can depend on you for a reaction. It’s tough not to react because we’re human, but it’s worth practicing.

8 – Don’t Let Their Negativity Affect You. Take what a negative person says with a grain of salt. It’s never completely accurate. Some people complain in the hopes that someone else will fight their battles for them. Don’t take the bait. Never let yourself get caught in a triangle, as a messenger between a negative person and someone who has allegedly done them wrong or a situation has misguided them. If you must play mediator, have both parties present and keep in mind that their perspective and miscommunications are their problem, not yours.

9 – Offer Solutions. To keep a situation from being blown out of proportion, offer to help find practical solutions. Keep the communication open and show interest, but never accept responsibility for fixing the perceived problem. A negative person has a limited field of vision and cannot see the big picture. You’ll have to point out the positives and help him focus on the benefits instead of the potential liabilities. Offer some perspective on what he’s saying or doing, and he might see how ridiculous he’s being. Use empathy without buying into the problem.

10 – Cut Them Out Of Your Life. If all else fails, reduce contact with them or cut them completely off. Rather than spend your time with negative people, focus on the positive people instead. Know your worth! Start cultivating positivity by hanging out with positive friends and like minded individuals as it will be more rewarding and more happiness.

In dealing with these people, you’ll first have to accept that many of them may not see themselves as being negative. In fact, if you draw their attention to it, they might think you’re after them. There’s always a possibility that the problem is deeply rooted and that they are paranoid, delusional or clinically depressed or stressed out and in need of professional help. In most cases, however, people choose their attitude, whether it’s positive or negative. You are in control of your mindset and perspective. We are all magnificent beings with our own unique gifts to share with the world. Everyone deserves to be given the opportunity to express themselves without being pre-judged or mis-labelled because of someone else’s negative judgements that may or may not have been true. Perception is a funny thing. It’s amazing how many more friends you will make when you follow this model and allow yourself to form your own impression of the people you meet along life’s journey. Listen to your intuition, on most occasions its right. Remember that your life is yours to lead, and it’s up to you on how you want it to be. With the right actions, you can create a dramatic difference in what you get out of your relationships. Be the change you wish to see in this world.

BE loving.
BE positive.